newshfan

like tomorrow i feel somebody will turn me off this way of live and my life will be so over, i can't explain what feeling that around my heart, but that's what i feel... and this is the clue that i can feel this way:

first: my relationship between my bf begin separated, i don't what's the reason though

second: newshfan or wendy oneechan has deleted her journal @ LJ and i'm very upset because i can't download her subs anymore from now on, and this what make me feel very upset about: "I'm Late to Hear that Noticed in her lj, because yesterdays i can't browse internet cause the exams that held by  my school, mid term i meant.

Third: like my family haven't realized my broken heart inside, but what breaking my heart more than now is my family doesn't know my characteristic till now, i can't tell my feeling so easily, i can't let somebody knows my true feeling, i just want to live happily outside even my hurt is broken inside, that kind of me at all

i wanna be different, i wanna shown my true feeling to everyone, but i just can't. this what i don't understand
my life is just like water that drown into one place to place continually without see what place it is.

I hope my friends or my family don't read this blog, because i'm ashamed (i don't know what kind ashamed that happen in here). hhh~ i'm too tired to do all this thing, trully.

but i just have to move on and live happily, this sadness probably can't stay any longer so i can live happily, the true happy feeling :))